Helping Grandparents to Be There for Their Twin Granddaughters

Helping Grandparents to Be There for Their Twin Granddaughters

By Rabbi Nathan Goldberg

At a local hospital the daughter of a patient undergoing acute dialysis came to me and said that her father was feeling down, and asked that I speak with him, which I did.I learned that his twin granddaughters were soon to become bat mitzvah, and the grandfather was distressed that neither grandparent could attend, because he was in the hospital and Grandmother was home-bound. We together composed a blessing for each granddaughter on the lines of the blessing that Jacob gave to his grandsons in the book of Genesis:

BLESSING!

Jewish Tradition provides the perspective that healing is not merely about the physical body. Healing incorporates body and soul. June and Joan, (note: names changed to respect privacy) please allow me to thank you for allowing me the privilege to be part of your lives and to share this blessing.

The mere act of writing this has provided healing for Grandma’s and my spirits.

Please know that even though Grandma and I cannot be here with you with our physical presence, we are certainly with you in spirit. On that note, we would like to share our gratitude to your parents, our children. They loved and cared for you long before you could recognize them. Their vigilant and tender care for one-and-a-half pound “premie” twins began years ago. The fruits of their love are beginning to be experienced now as you begin your journey as young women.

Joan, I shall start with you. Your Hebrew name is Miriam. Like Miriam the prophetess, your kind, considerate creativity endears you to your family and friends. I am blessed by you and pray that you will continue to grow into the wonderful woman you are already becoming.

June, your Hebrew name is Devora. You, like Devora the judge, can see things clearly and achieve your goals. Your intensity is energizing and I cannot wait to see where you will go in the future.We are particularly proud that our two granddaughters are wonderful individuals who are not afraid to express who they are. At the same time, they are considerate of others- each of them emanates kindness. In this way, they are following in the footsteps of their family- in particular their mother and father who are dedicated to Tikun Olam, fixing the world, on a personal and professional basis.

I leave you with the blessing of Jacob for his children and grandchildren as well as the Aaronic blessing, traditionally given to children as well. In these blessings, I also include (other granddaughter, grandson Jesse, and great grandson.)May the angel who redeemed me from all evil bless the children in the name of the parents…May G-d bless you, and watch over you. May G-d make his face shine upon you, and be gracious unto you.May The L-RD lift up his presence to you, and give you peace.

Afterwards Grandpa wrote to me, “The words were read by one of our sons and through these words everyone at the celebration felt our presence and love for our granddaughters. The words were beautiful and very moving. You had finalized our thoughts so perfectly. Thank you for what you helped us say and for our ‘being there with everyone,’ especially our girls. It touched us and gave us the comfort we needed so very much at that time.”Grandpa’s letter was such a gift to me, to hear that I could bring him and Grandma closer to their family, to ease their burdens in difficult times, and to add to the joy of this milestone event for their family.

Orthodox Rabbi Nathan Goldberg, an Association for Clinical Pastoral Education Supervisor, is a member of the Clinical Faculty at HealthCare Chaplaincy.